The Wound of Betrayal
St. Matthew 26:20-25
In the name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.
When it was evening, He reclined at table with the twelve. And as they were eating, He said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me.” And they were very sorrowful and began to say to Him one after another, “Is it I, Lord?” He answered, “He who has dipped his hand in the dish with Me will betray Me. The Son of Man goes as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.” Judas, who would betray Him, answered, “Is it I, Rabbi?” He said to him, “You have said so.” (Matthew 26:20–25)
Dear fellow Lenten travelers… The “sore abuse and scorn” that weighed down our Lord’s head “with anguish” began long before the physical abuse. It began with the actions of a friend; it began with the actions of one whom Jesus loved, a companion with whom He had traveled many miles and shared many meals.
This was a wound that weighed down our Lord’s sacred head and brought Him sorrow and grief that compounded the weight of sin He bore upon His cross. “One of you will betray Me,” He said at the table that night. And they became sad and asked one after another, “Is it I, Lord?”
We, too, need to ask that question of our Lord: Have I sold You out, Lord? Have I lived for this world and its pleasures and bought into them, rather than wanting You? Have I decided to make myself a god instead of spending time with You, hearing Your words of life, basking in Your Sacramental gifts? Have I lived as if I mattered most and You mattered not at all? “Is it I, Lord?”
Jesus makes it clear that the wound of betrayal is not inflicted upon Him by those who are distant from Him; it is not inflicted upon Him by those who are not His companions or those who are not His close friends. No. This wound is a pain that comes from those nearest to Him; it comes from those whom He held in special love. “He who has dipped his hand in the dish with Me will betray Me” (Matthew 26:23). It is not someone distant, not someone unknown, but someone near, someone dear, someone loved.
But… note the love of the Lord. Do not think for one second that the Lord’s love for Judas, His betrayer, was altered by the betrayal. Psalm 145:9 speaks truly of Christ: “Yahweh is good to all, and His mercy is over all that He has made.” Jesus loved this man who would go his own senseless way. Jesus loved this man who would first despise and turn from His love, and then despair later on of what he thought he had lost forever.
For Judas, the betrayal was so big a sin that he was convinced he would never, ever find forgiveness. Indeed, this betrayal was a horrible sin committed by Judas; there’s no doubt about that. And it is a horrible sin in us. What on earth can justify handing over the Creator of all things? What can possibly excuse disowning Jesus and sending Him into the agony of torture, crucifixion, and death? What madness is it that would lead the creature to betray the kind and loving Creator? What idiocy and insanity to chase a few dollars in this world, and all the while rejecting the gift of a life that never ends?
“The Son of Man goes as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born” (Matthew 26:24). These words of our Lord are indeed terrifying!
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For you see, Judas’ sin is this: he couldn’t believe he was forgiveable; and in that foggy mindset he chose to place his own feelings and emotions over and against God. He chose to insist that it was harder for him to forgive himself than it was for God to forgive him. It’s a First Commandment thing. And this wound would break our Lord’s heart even more than the betrayal itself.
Sadly, Judas understood very little about the Son of Man whom he betrayed. For it was also for the sin of Judas, and the sin of all of us Judases, that the Son of Man stretched out His hands on the wood of the cross and let His killers pound in the nails. It was for the sin of Judas, and of all us Judases, that the Son of Man pleaded, “Father, forgive them!” It was for the sin of Judas, and of all us Judases, that the Lord of life let “grim death, with cruel rigor” rob Him of His life so that sin and death would lose their claim over us forever.
Yes, the pain of betrayal is great, but it could never turn our Lord’s heart to bitterness. For in that heart lives a love so great, a love so strong, a love so mighty that bitterness and hatred cannot ever conquer it. Although betrayal hurt, and hurt like hell itself, Jesus went on loving—loving Judas, loving you.
And so in the wounds of our crucified Lord Jesus we discover a love that sets us free to love as we have been loved. And you know what that means. Our Lord spoke often of taking up crosses and following Him. Do you see, now, what your cross is? You are betrayed when you love, and instead of your love being returned, it is rejected. Such betrayal hurts and wounds you in an unspeakable way, and you are crushed and reduced to tears. Then the old Adam rises up inside in indignation and anger and eagerness to get even.
But by the strength of Christ, by the power of your Baptism into His love, you get to nail your old Adam to the wood and say: No! By the power of Him who forgave you, even when you have betrayed Him so many times, you forgive. By the power of Him who loved you, even when you sold Him out, you love in return the one who has hurt you.
This is a cross, dear friends. And it will be torture, and it will be death to the old Adam; that’s its job. But to the new self that God created in you in your Baptism, it is joy and life. You get to share in the very life of your Savior.
Truly, in and of our sinful nature, we have not begun to love with Christ’s love until we have come, by God’s grace, to love those we thought were our friends but who have betrayed us and hurt us and brought us great sorrow. When we go on loving them and seeking good for them and their blessing – feat impossible for fallen human nature, but quite possible in communion with the love of Christ – we begin to taste something of the joy known by the martyrs of Christ across many centuries, those who loved and prayed for the people who brought them even to death.
And it is all God’s doing in you, as John writes in his epistle, “We love Him because He first loved us” (I Jn 4:19). His love in You allows you to love others in return, in spite of their sins against you.
As often as the Church celebrates the Supper of our Lord, she celebrates the love that is in her Savior, a love which is stronger than all of our betrayals, a love that He gives us freely in the body and blood that won forgiveness for Judas, for you, and for all. It is our experience of such love that frees and strengthens us to bear the wounds of betrayal ourselves, following our Lord with joy.
May our crucified and risen Lord give you grace to do so; to whom be glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.
